Ok so for those who have been living under a rock or for those who can’t seem to connect to 4 well off women, who the first few seasons had no children and their biggest struggle in life seemed to be there shitty choice in men. Yes it’s Sex and the city time. This is my home girl Carrie (do people still say home girl? Well I do) she appeared on the cover of a New York magazine by mistake. Yes by mistake! Do you really think a woman who writes a column about being single in NYC wants the perception on this cover! DAMNIT! And if the cover picture wasn’t a punch in the throat already they try to assassinate her fabulousness (another word I’m not sure anyone uses but me) by puting a question mark at the end of Single and Fabulous, that’s just wrong. Basically saying does this bitch look fabulous to you? Then adds the smart ass caption “Eat drink and never-be-married”
When I first started Fabulously Single I couldn’t believe the amount of positive feedback I received. Not only was I shocked but I was confused. People made it seem as though being single and loving it has never been heard of. And kuddos to me for having the balls to say this out loud. Like if the thought of not having a man and actually enjoying life was weird. Yes there’s tons and tons of blogs and many articles in Cosmo paying tribute to these things, but the thought that someone actually believed in it seemed far fetched!
I’ve been doing research for a few weeks on throwing an event for single women. There are many ways to get over your ex and one way that is tried and proven is to meet new people. So I started looking around to see other events similar to what I have in mind and try to get some feed back.. Here’s the issue, not one event was dedicated to women meeting other women to sit and have dinner and drinks and talk about similar issues they’ve been through, nothing even came close. Everything was about speed dating, or some type of way where you can meet men! Why? How many women aren’t ready or even looking for a new relationship? How many don’t want to reach out to family and friends for fear of judgment? How many want to meet women just like them and have dinner and drinks and enjoy some expert advice? How many want to actually learn how to live a fun, fulfilling life without a partner for the time being?
Being a single woman doesn’t mean we are lonely,bitter or promiscuous and it also doesn’t mean we aren’t attractive to the opposite sex. We all know someone who’s husband or boyfriend doesn’t want them hanging out with Suzy single because she’s going to try to “break up” there relationship. Why? Because misery loves company and apparently the general consensus is we’re lonely and miserable right? Wrong! Of course in every situation in life there’s going to be a negative nancy. The big issue I have is that single women who aren’t actively looking for a spouse or even the ones that are, seem to have this negative stamp of dissaproval on them.
We are often awkwardly introduced to any and everything with a penis (or vagina if you know what I mean 😏) “joe shmo meet my SINGLE friend Sally” or the constant ” omg why are you single? You’re so pretty or you seem so nice” ugh I’ve literally punched you mentally like 10 xs!!!! Jus sayin.
Here’s the thing, yes I’m single! There’s nothing wrong with me, I’m not sad or vindictive or scary looking. I don’t have daddy issues ,I’m not afraid of love. I’m just someone who doesn’t feel like focusing on a relationship right now. People are running marathons with one leg, having babies at 65, actually considering voting for Donald Trump, for the love of God people still watch reality TV and think it’s real.. But me not wanting a boyfriend and being content with that is shocking?
Here’s a newsflash.. I am not bitter nor broken from any relationship or situationship I’ve been in. Am I cautious? YES! Do I know what I want and don’t want and will I be more selective? YES absolutely, but I’m not going to accept or conform to the need to be in a relationship just because society tells me so. I can honestly say I’ve taken away something positive from every negative situation I was previously in.. Nooooo I’m not drunk (I actually turned a negative into a positive). I’ve been beaten, robbed, lied to,cheated on, blah blah blah.. But I’ve learned something from it all. And the chances of any of that bullshit happening again to me are cut in half. Not because I’m invincible but because I carry myself differently and I love myself enough now to see the warning signs and exit faster than a hoe in church.. I believe in being FABULOUSLY SINGLE. I’m not writing an article because my editor told me so, I’m not trying to write on a “hot topic”. The man of my dreams can knock on my door and whisk me away, we can get married next week and I’ll still believe in my brand.
If we could love ourselves more and not be so worried about those lonely rainy nights and actually take our time in the dating process regardless of the need to not feel lonely, we wouldn’t rush into relationships we later regret.. So before I drop this imaginary mic, I just want to remind you that your time is precious and you can never get it back. Don’t rush into something because you pick up a magazine that says SINGLE AND FABULOUS??.. Eat drink and never be married!!! And now you’re second guessing yourself. “Good things come to those who wait” and “if it’s meant to be it’ll be” aren’t just cute catchy phrases.. Think about it