Never let your ex see you sweat.

Now this rule here is plain and simple! There’s two types of women after a break up. 

  

1. The one who gets so depressed and has absolutely no energy. Putting a brush through her hair feels impossible. And getting dressed up before heading out is definitely out of the question. You know EXACTLY how she feels by just one look, LIKE SHIT!
2. The woman who can be going somewhere as simple as the bodega (corner store) and you can’t tell if she’s going to a club or a red carpet event.

#1 used to be me! People probably couldn’t tell that I actually owned something else besides a pair of oversize sweatpants and a baseball cap! Makeup? Pssht, people were lucky if I put Vaseline on my lips. Unfortunately I almost always saw my ex the moment I stepped out of the door. And out of all those times, I was trying to duck and dodge him. Hiding in food isles at the supermarket, running into stores then hiding in the dressing room if I saw him at the mall, or ducking down and waiting in the car until he left the parking lot. I’d say I had about a 56% rate of not getting seen. But when he did see me I literally wanted to cry. How effing embarrassing! I used to do all that until my aunt Jen formed her own little intervention for me. She not so nicely told me that I looked like shit 6 days out of the week, and all that energy that I had trying to avoid him could’ve been easily put into actually putting clothes that fit me on and putting a brush through my hair. “Never let your ex see you sweat” were her exact words. And how right she was. See what I didn’t realize was not only was I giving him the benefit of seeing me look like shit I was giving him power over me. I’ll never forget when one day he told me that I’ve really let myself go and he hopes I one day find happiness.. OH HELL NO! 

But it wasn’t until his ugly ass girlfriend saw me. This monsters inc looking bitch gave me the pitty look. Like seriously. I’m pretty sure she’s a direct descendent of the ugly old woman who fed Snow White the poisoned apple and she’s giving me “the look” From that moment on I didn’t give a flying shit if It took everything I had, they NEVER EVER saw me looking like shit again. Of course he was intrigued now. Was I dating? If so, who? Can we talk? Telling missed me…blah blah who gives a fuck! Anyway, Long story short even if you’re not ready to be #2 at least be a 1.5. 

You don’t need to put your freak em dress on to go to the post office. But a cute little outfit and some lipgloss will go a long way. If and when you run into your ex you’ll feel a 1,000 Xs better. Simply flash him a devious smile and keep walking with your head high!💋